mii lif

dadee hazent riten neething reecentlee so i wil riit for him.

mii naam iz renee but ithink it shuld bee speld ruhnaa. i am zeero yeers old. i liik tuo plaa weth mii mamee and dadee and paant and draw and cok and riit. i think mii mamee and dadee rr awsum. thaa luv mee aa lot.sumtiims it iz hard to hav a livng mamee and a ded dadee. i want us awl tuo bee aabl tuo liv tuogeter.

ii am havng fun in shkawgo. ther ar lots of kol plaacis tuo goo tuo. maabee tuo daa ii wil go tuo thuh beech.

ii kant think ov much ls tuo saa soo ii wil stop soo ii kan goo hav fun. taak kar and hav a niis daa! :)

This is Only the Beginning

Channeled, no Cullen. Or Scissorhands. I'm not going any more in depth than that today because my head's killing me.

So, I think enough of me explaining my past or whining over current problems, it's time for me to act like the doting father I really am deep inside and start bragging about just how adorable my daughter is. And How amazing my wife is, for that matter.

Anyway, the story of cuteness is this (Ugh, I make myself want to throw up sometimes): Last night, Renee caught on to just how much mommy and daddy were having trouble with one another, and decided that she was going to fix this.

How did she decide to fix this? Well, she decided that if she turning mommy into a princess, then there would be no way that daddy could be upset with her, and daddy would start cuddling and kissing mommy like crazy because that's what guys do when they see a beautiful princess.

Alright, so she's going to make Door into a princess. She then leads Door over to the dresser and makes Door try on every single skirt she owns before she finally decides which one is the most princess-y and makes Door wear that one.

Then it's time to pick out a shirt. And Renee knew much better what she was going for then, so she didn't make Door try on anything, just pointed to a shirt and said "Put on that one." Which also happened to be the lowest cut shirt that Door owned. And a very bright blue, which not only looks good on Door and matches her eyes, but also happens to be my favorite color.

That was the point of "Aw, damn, I'm screwed."

Hey, You're a Therapist, Right? Okay, Here's the Deal...

It's still a channeled blog, and I'm still not Cullen, just FYI.

Speaking of which, I normally don't get to channel with Door this much, since I'm not just doing the sort of channeling where I keep talking and talking and she writes it all down. Nope. I'm doing the sort where she completely lets me into her body (get your mind out of the gutter, that's where I belong), I grab her laptop, hike over to the nearest library, and then type it all out myself. Because I'm not a lazy ghost, for the record.

On that note, when I was taking said walk over to said library, I ran into several intersections. And I waited oh-so-patiently for the light to change while other people raced across between the car. That struck me as a little weird, considering that there's one general trait that pretty much anyone who's met me can agree on about me.

I'm impulsive. Reckless. Hotheaded. Rash. However you put it, waiting oh-so-patiently for a light to change wasn't usually my sort of thing, much less sighing and shaking my head and rolling my eyes at the people running across.

I mean, wake up, dude, you're normally the one leading all the people running across the intersection! And now you're acting like they're so stupid for it? What's up?!

Well, point being that it was always one thing when it was my body and my life. It suddenly became an entirely different concept when it was Door's body and Door's life. Even though I'm dead and her being dead would mean we could actually be together for once, I want her to live as long of a life as possible. Normally I don't do things to hurt her when I channel. At least not intentionally.

A Little Family History (Part 2)

Alright, you guys, I'm back. I know, big disappointment, you thought I was going to only write one entry and then disappear, right? Well, Door let me have another chunk of time to channel, so maybe I can finish the family history today and get to the new stuff tomorrow.

Just to recap: Still channeling, like I will for every entry of this blog. Scary messages from the beyond bragging about some guy's wife and kids, ooo, scary. Me still = me, not Edward Cullen. Man, do I hate that guy.

So anyway, Door managed to get pregnant. Holy freaking shit. That was the point where I was freaking out, and she suddenly turned into this calm person that was scared just as shitless as I was, but somehow she was keeping herself collected for it.

Meanwhile, my little brother decided that he wanted to reincarnate as my kid, so he attached his soul to the baby. Which really didn't help out my freaking out spasms at all. I kept having a bad feeling that something would go wrong, something always went wrong when it came to these sorts of situations with me anyway.

A Little Family History (Part 1)

This entire blog is going to be channeled. Yeah, channeled, as in, that thing people do to "receive messages from the great beyond, oooo." Most of you guys would probably call me a ghost, but trust me, I'm not really scary like everyone makes dead people out to be. I'm not here for revenge, and I'm more likely to save your life than try to end it. And besides, what harm could I do through the internet, anyway?

And by the way, yes, my name is Edward. NO, not Edward Cullen. I'm setting the record straight right now before anyone says anything. Me = me, not him. Good. Glad we had this talk.

So, now that we have introductions out of the way- Well, sort of. Hi, I'm Ed. I'm sort of here to dispel this idea that channeled documents always sound all mystical and... well, like a bunch of know-it-alls, and I'm sort of here just because I love bragging about my family. Yeah, I'm a spirit. Yeah, I could probably predict your future for you with a snap of fingers, or make a million dollars fall in your lap, or whisper all the secrets of the universe in your ear if I felt like it.

But yeah, I'm also a normal guy. Most spirits out there are just normal people, like people you meet in the street. There's even the creepy guys spirits that just camp out somewhere and stare at girls' butts. Just because you can let go of all the petty stupid little things once you die doesn't mean that everyone out there goes "Oh, I'm dead! I want to be the secret mature person hidden deep within me that I've never been before!"

But anyway, I'm feeling like I'm lecturing, which is the last thing I want to do. There are plenty of spirits out there willing to lecture on and on, so go ahead and find them if you want. I'm willing to answer questions as I receive them, not before. The main reason I'm here is for more of a storytelling purpose, I guess. Mostly because my wife pointed out to me that our lives (Or rather, her life and my non-life) are pretty funny.

That would be the funny bit there too. I have a wife, in a sense. Did I know her when I was alive. Nope. Is she dead herself? Nope. I met her when she was eight years old, because she was a little psychic who saw me and smiled, and that was enough to win me over.