A Little Family History (Part 2)

Alright, you guys, I'm back. I know, big disappointment, you thought I was going to only write one entry and then disappear, right? Well, Door let me have another chunk of time to channel, so maybe I can finish the family history today and get to the new stuff tomorrow.

Just to recap: Still channeling, like I will for every entry of this blog. Scary messages from the beyond bragging about some guy's wife and kids, ooo, scary. Me still = me, not Edward Cullen. Man, do I hate that guy.

So anyway, Door managed to get pregnant. Holy freaking shit. That was the point where I was freaking out, and she suddenly turned into this calm person that was scared just as shitless as I was, but somehow she was keeping herself collected for it.

Meanwhile, my little brother decided that he wanted to reincarnate as my kid, so he attached his soul to the baby. Which really didn't help out my freaking out spasms at all. I kept having a bad feeling that something would go wrong, something always went wrong when it came to these sorts of situations with me anyway.

Door was amazing with the baby though. She did all sorts of stuff to take care of the baby, both physically and spiritually. She changed her diet specially for the baby (She even craved gummy bears dipped in wasabi sauce at one point. Ew. I guess everyone's really telling the truth about pregnant women having cravings.), and she played music for the baby when she was reading or going to sleep.

And since she had known my brother before he decided to become our kid, she was able to sing his favorite song (Silent Night) whenever the baby started getting upset and making her feel horrible. It worked every time, too, which was kind of funny.

But in the end, I hate to say that my doom and gloom prediction came true. You see, Door takes lithium in order to help out with her bipolar, and, well, lithium really does some horrible stuff to little developing fetuses. So the baby ended up miscarrying, much to the dismay of me and Door.

But the good news is that I'm already dead, and Door's a psychic, so it wasn't like we had lost our little baby forever, oh no. My poor brother was a little freaked out from the whole ordeal, as any spirit would be, but he ended up deciding to live from that lifetime on instead of reverting back to his lifetime as my brother.

So now there's always a little four year old girl spirit that follows me and Door around. She has my blond hair and hazel eyes, but Door's tallness (thank goodness she took after her mother in the height department!) and smile. She uses the name Door and I had picked out for a girl: Renee Patricia, with Renee meaning “Rebirth,” and Patricia meaning “Noble.”

In all honesty, all that's happened to me so far is just about the best thing that's ever happened to me, period. I used to feel like I had to constantly run around, do this, do that, deal with every single freaking problem I came across, but now that I have Renee and Door in my (non)life, I'm actually able to just lie down on a bed and grin without worrying about what to do next, who to save, blah blah blah. Which, is, I suppose, why I can finally start a blog. I used to always think about starting one, but if I started one, it was going to be the best damn blog out there and make hundreds of dollars a day, and have a purpose, and reach millions of homes.... Again, blah blah blah.

I guess I did a lot of blah blah blahing in my younger years. Well, I still blah blah blah anyway, you can take this blogging stuff as an example of that, but this is less of blah blah blahing (Can I say that too many times?) as a way to cover up my own insecurity and more because I finally feel like I have a life worth blah blah blahing about.

Which actually, believe it or not, it not something I would have ever felt like I'd be able to say. And even though I make a deal of usually putting (non) before life whenever I'm referring to myself, the thing is, I really do have a life, even if I'm not living. I have a beautiful wife and daughter, good friends, and for once, I can actually accept it when people tell me they love me. I used to always brush away people saying they loved me because I thought, "Who could love someone like me? They don't really mean it."

But once I heard my own daughter saying she loved me, that was one time where I couldn't brush it away. It was pretty obvious that she meant it with all her heart. And if all that love could be contained in a someone as young and small as her, then who couldn't believe that maybe my wife meant it just as fully as Renee? And maybe everyone else meant it just as much too.

And of course, to the little (oops, sorry, BIG, sweetie!) girl reading over my shoulder, and the wife who will read this once she wakes up from her channeling, and everyone else out there who's close to me, I love all you guys too. You make my world and life beautiful.