This is Only the Beginning

Channeled, no Cullen. Or Scissorhands. I'm not going any more in depth than that today because my head's killing me.

So, I think enough of me explaining my past or whining over current problems, it's time for me to act like the doting father I really am deep inside and start bragging about just how adorable my daughter is. And How amazing my wife is, for that matter.

Anyway, the story of cuteness is this (Ugh, I make myself want to throw up sometimes): Last night, Renee caught on to just how much mommy and daddy were having trouble with one another, and decided that she was going to fix this.

How did she decide to fix this? Well, she decided that if she turning mommy into a princess, then there would be no way that daddy could be upset with her, and daddy would start cuddling and kissing mommy like crazy because that's what guys do when they see a beautiful princess.

Alright, so she's going to make Door into a princess. She then leads Door over to the dresser and makes Door try on every single skirt she owns before she finally decides which one is the most princess-y and makes Door wear that one.

Then it's time to pick out a shirt. And Renee knew much better what she was going for then, so she didn't make Door try on anything, just pointed to a shirt and said "Put on that one." Which also happened to be the lowest cut shirt that Door owned. And a very bright blue, which not only looks good on Door and matches her eyes, but also happens to be my favorite color.

That was the point of "Aw, damn, I'm screwed."

Renee said she picked that shirt because it matched Door's skirt and looked the fanciest. Yeah, it was probably the low cut that made it look fancy. Women wear low cuts when they get dressed up.

And then she made Door put on sparkly blue nail polish. Now maybe it's silly, but I really like nail polish on a girl. First of all, it's cool. Second of all, it's something interesting to play with. Third of all... Well, it's blue. I like blue, and even moreso on my girl.

So now Door's got on a skirt, a low cut blue shirt, and blue nail polish. Then Renee decides to make mommy take her hair out of her ponytail.

AHJAHKEHTAFOOMAHGET!

Yeah, did I mention that my biggest weakness happens to be hair? Did I also mention that my wife hardly ever wears her hair down, which makes this weakness all the more potent? Yeah. Maybe it was a good thing I was already dead, or the might have been a death last night.

So after that point, I was jumping from one foot to another, trying to wait while Renee puts daddy's favorite lip gloss (vanilla cupcake) on mommy, picking out shoes for mommy, blah blah blah while daddy just wanted to say, "Okay, you did it, daddy will cuddle and kiss mommy a lot, sweetie, now go play somewhere."

But I was patient and waited until she was done to shoo her off to play with her friends.

And the whole ordeal made me realize just how evily clever my daughter is, which was sort of inevitable, I suppose, considering that her mommy and daddy are both evily clever themselves. Which made me realize hat this was only going to get worse as she gets older and learns more of the ways of the world. Which made me realize something very important in my role as a daddy.

I am so freaking screwed.